Clint Barton: Mission Mistletoe
by noda9912
Summary: "Can you track him in the vents?" Steve asked. "For the fifth time, I can't track him in the vents without incinerating him." "Why do you even have a feature like that built into the vents?" "Oh, I'm sorry for not anticipating a friendly intruder in the vents! Silly me!" "You could start the incinerator." Bucky pointed out. Tony nodded. "True."


"Can you track him in the vents?" Steve asked.

"For the fifth time, I can't track him in the vents without incinerating him."

"Why do you even have a feature like that built into the vents?"

"Oh, I'm sorry for not anticipating a friendly intruder in the vents! Silly me!"

"You could start the incinerator." Bucky pointed out.

Tony nodded. "True."

"No. Natasha?"

She considered them. "You could start the incinerator."

Both Tony and Bucky nodded sagely.

"We are not burning Clint in the vents!"

"Who are we burning my friends?" Thor asked, just entering the workshop.

"No one!"

"You're sure it'll only be a small spark?"

"Of course. I wouldn't harm him to such an extent."

Tony smirked when Steve only shook his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine."

The plan was to send a small electrical spark through the vents so Clint would be forced out. Thor had thought of the plan when Tony explained the situation, but not before he laughed loudly.

They asked Jarvis alert them to any sign of Clint in the tower so Natasha could deal with him.

"Ready?"

Thor nodded and grinned.

Nothing happened. The vents cackled and surged with electricity, but no screaming was heard and Jarvis didn't alert them of anything.

Tony frowned. "Nothing J?"

"Nothing sir."

"I didn't think it would work." Natasha remark, sitting on the couch.

They tried it once more but again it didn't work.

Natasha moved at one point to stand directly behind Thor and glanced up.

"Why didn't it work?" Tony asked. He looked at Thor. "You're sure the sparks went through all the vents on the floor?"

Thor nodded and frowned, also confused.

There was a moment of silence that was broken by a yell and the cover of a vent falling.

Clint stuck a hand full of mistletoe from the vents in between Natasha and Thor.

In a second he was on the floor of the workshop with Natasha holding him down.

"Caught you."

"My mortal enemy!"

Steve moved forward and took the mistletoe from his hand. "No more."

"Aw, come on. You liked kissing Tony and Bucky!"

"Yeah, but not Fury."

"That was pretty funny." Tony admitted.

"See!"

Thor crouched down next to him. "How did you resist the spark my friend?"

Clint grinned and showed him the rubber on his hands and knees. "You didn't think I'd be prepared?"

"Not to such an extent. Well done my friend."

Natasha let him go and Clint jumped to his feet. "Well, that was fun."

Steve was still giving him disappointed looks but the others had just laughed it off.

A few days later Tony announced that he had to use the incinerator in the vents to clean them and Clint stood next to him and watched.

"Good thing you didn't use them while I was there."

Tony shrugged. "We wanted to but Steve said no."

Clint looked at Natasha for clarity and she nodded too.

"You guys would've burned me alive?"

"For what it's worth, I was pretty sure you'd live." Nat pointed out.

"It's not worth a lot. What about Bucky?"

"He was alright with it too."

"Noooooo!" Clint cried dramatically. "How could you all?"

"What's he screaming about?" Bruce asked, walking into the lab.

"Hey Bruc-"

"If I was hiding in the vents, how would you find me?" Clint asked, close to smiling smugly. Bruce would care.

He paused for a moment then turned to Tony. "Don't you have an incinerator?"

Clint screamed once more in betrayal and ran from the room.

Bucky sat up from the couch. "I don't think he'll ever go in the vents again."

"Probably not." Natasha confirmed. "Do you think you'll actually put an incinerator in?"

"Maybe, we'll see what he does." Tony shook his head. "Cap played his part well, but why does he always get to seem like the good guy?"

"I think Clint would have actually died if Steve said to incinerate him."

They nodded. "I really thought he would've been listening though, while we were talking about doing it."

"Maybe he couldn't hear it through the vents?"

"I don't think he had his hearing aids in." Natasha said.

"Damn it, we acted it out for no reason." Bucky cursed from his seat.

"Well, we did get to see Steve get flustered."

Bucky laughed. "That was pretty funny."

Steve walked in a few minutes later with a worried look on his face. "Guys, why did Clint just come to me crying about betrayal?"


End file.
